Archive - cypress and barbells

on meaning, time, and all my failed relationships

Nov 13, 2023 •

September 2023

All I’m saying is: if god wanted this moment to look any different, then it would. Who am I to argue with my existence? It’s like winning a free trip to…

Sep 22, 2023 •

May 2023

When you fall asleep at night, do you feel held by the world?

May 27, 2023 •

April 2023

relationships becoming other things

upon hearing about the breakup, one of my best friends said "at least you'll have something to blog about now." he's so real for that

Apr 27, 2023 •

February 2023

an aesthetic stance

Life presents itself as a series of shimmering forms. Coffee rings and red cherries on oatmeal. Orange sunsets against a freeway overpass. Graffiti on…

Feb 8, 2023 •

December 2022

I’ve never understood why people feel small and insignificant when alone in nature

I’ve never understood why people feel small and insignificant when alone in nature. I sit on the precipice of a desert mesa, looking down at miles of…

Dec 30, 2022 •

November 2022

I try to wring a sense of purpose out of the bricks and boards that constitute a life. Usually there is not a drop. The solidity of things resists the…

Nov 1, 2022 •

October 2022

Midnights as masochistic mindfulness?

taylor swift, the self, and painful time

Oct 28, 2022 •

games of chance

I’d go to a party: heads I’d have fun and feel connected, tails I’d feel even more lonely and get too drunk. I’d go to the gym: heads I’d break a…

Oct 16, 2022 •

August 2022

delighting in the senses

I walk down Hanover Avenue in unprompted ecstasy. I delight at nothing, at the blue African lilies leaping onto the sidewalks, at small clouds spotting…

Aug 10, 2022 •

June 2022

I’m blaring Bussin in my kitchen, scrubbing a dish occasionally, but mostly dancing to Nicki Minaj. I do a lot of dancing in this kitchen. It is the…

Jun 9, 2022 •

March 2022

burning candles and gasoline

on finitude, endings, and warming spring days

Mar 28, 2022 •

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